I would like to preface this piece by telling some of you (those of you in or teaching ENG350 may continue now to the piece below. You already know what I am going to say) about an assignment that I have been given in my writing class this semester. We were told to write three pages a day about anything: no guidelines, no grades, just write. This is the product of one of those days, last Thursday to be exact. I thought it would be a nice change.
"Let's begin with prayer." As we taught our younger counterparts about the words they say to their God, I found myself learning as well. And the tears tried to form as I thought of my own conversations with the Almighty. Have I ever thought about how I speak to Him; Him, my Savior, Redeemer, Creator? Have I been praying incorrectly all these years?
I ask earnestly for that which I feel I deserve... but do I deserve it? Me? A poor sinner who doesn't even-- hasn't been-- acknowledging my Savior for all that He does? I don't-- haven't-- told him each time I pray how sorry I am for all the corruption that runs through my veins as a sinner. And I don't, can't, spend enough time thanking Him for all that he does in my life on a daily basis.
He wakes me up every morning, breath in my lungs, blood flowing through my heart. That alone is enough to get on my knees, tear-filled eyes, thanking Him. But I don't. He is with me all day, calming my heart and keeping me safe, but do I thank Him for that either? No. I jump-- have been jumping-- directly to the last step: supplication. I move straight away to what I need. Give me this, allow me that, lay this on my heart, keep me safe... when would I have realized, if not now, that I am a selfish prayer who needs to reform?
I totally understand what you mean. I often catch myself just begging God for things and forgetting to praise him, thank him, honor him. I wrote about this on my personal blog recently...and reading One Thousand Gifts has been really changing my perspective on prayer, too! (If you click on my name there's a link to my blog.) Also, Ann Voskamp's blog post today speaks to this as well! http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/01/seven-ways-to-keep-your-home-strong/
ReplyDeleteI like that you mention the tears that are trying to form. For me it speaks so perfectly to the feelings of powerlessness that come when we are trying so hard to be good enough, to be deserving, and yet cannot find the means. I'm struck by the final sentence and the idea of our lives as prayers which so often fail to speak the words we want them to. It reminds me of the idea of Christ as our intercessor and how He covers over even our lack of eloquence so that by His grace the empty words of our lives become poems whispered in the presence of God.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pal Al, you're never too old or young to learn about prayer!
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