Out There

Is this what it feels like?
Growing up?

Because I know it's cliche,
but if this is what it's like,
I don't want to.

I don't want to follow the rules,
or conform to societal expectation.

But this is growing up...
right?

It's pushy and expensive,
and way out of my comfort zone.

Maybe it isn't growing up
that I'm afraid of.

Maybe it's the unknown,
the other side of graduation,
the rolling hills beyond
the state line.

Maybe I'm afraid of leaving,
but afraid to stay also.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing you.

No.

I am afraid of losing you,
of leaving so much behind.

I'm afraid of saying goodbye,
and walking away from
good friendships,
new and old.

But no one every got anywhere
by standing still.

The world isn't going to come to me.

I have to go,
send me.